PERSONAL VIEW

 

When I was given this assignment , to research a learning disability, I scoured the Internet to see what topic I would like to learn more about. When I came across Conduct Disorder, I knew I had found the one I was most curious about. I know it might seem odd to be curious about CD, but with school yard bullying, and an ever increasing amount of school shootings, I wanted to learn why some kids are prone to this behaviour, while others are not. 

 

When I attended school in the 1980’s and 1990’s, we of course had our share of bullies, and people who we were told were in “gang’s”, but I really can’t recall there ever being school shootings. I always remember this one boy I was in junior high with,  and we were all scared of him. He would beat up kids for no apparent reason, throw things at us in the middle of class, and one time, I sat in horrified shock as he stapled his ear lobes! I remember even then, wondering what was wrong with him to be able to do those things with no regard for any of our feelings, or even his own. And now, there seems to be this growing epidemic of children shooting children. As a person who has always loved children, I find this so disheartening.

 

I will be the first to admit, in the past,  when I have seen children who's misbehaviour is exceptionally bad, not the usual crying when told "no", but the really bad tantrums, and disruptive outbursts, I have often thought, "What bad parents, to allow such behaviour." I know, very judgemental of me, but I am admitting that it’s what I have thought. However, over the years I have learned that you should never be quick to judgement, as you really don't know what someone else is going through. I have always tried (even before this assignment) to teach my kids  that although you must stand up for your self, try to keep in your mind, you don’t know what the home life of this child is. It’s certainly not an easy thought when you are feeling under attack by someone, but I do try to always think these kids must be hurting. Even if an adult lashes out at me, my first reaction is anger, and defence of myself, but after, I think, they must really be hurting. 

 

After the weeks of research I have accomplished for this assignment, I have received some validation on some of my previous thoughts, but yet have learned much more about the mental aspect that affects these children. It’s so difficult for me to imagine a child being neglected, abused, and having feelings of not being safe. Of a child who's school life, and home life are so miserable, and there’s no one  there to protect them. When a child has these overwhelming emotions, and have created a disconnect from everyone, I can now see how they must lash out. They have no thought process of using a positive outlet to relive their pent up emotions, so they act in the same way they have always known…with more violence. I'm certainly not justifying any of their behaviours, but with a much more open mind, I can see how they really need help. It’s so important as any adult, and especially a future educational assistant, to see the warning signs early on. If one can, there could be a possible early intervention before another atrocity happens within our schools. 

 

I love how we have an anti bullying day, and how more light is shed on this ever growing issue. Bullying has been around since the dawn of time, but it’s more prevalent in today’s culture to have awareness on it. I would love to see it go a step further though. I would like there to be more information on WHY a child is bullying, and to be there for that child  as well. When you are the victim of a bully, and you feel threatened by them, you certainly don’t find yourself thinking of their welfare. You want to protect yourself at all costs. But what I have learned from this disorder, is that society seems to be forgetting that bullies are also victims. Most of us have not had perfect parents, nor have we ourselves been perfect parents, but most of us can say we have known loving parents, and supportive parents. Could you imagine feeling so afraid of your parents, or just wishing so badly that your parents would notice you, that you would be willing to do anything at all to make it all stop, or to receive any kind of attention? That must be looked at as well, or we will never be able to slow down, or eventually stop this cycle of conduct disorder.